So many caregivers keep going and keep going until they just can’t go any more. They just keep giving and keep giving until they don’t have anything left to give. Do you feel lost in your caregiving role, like you don’t know yourself anymore? Lilly explained how she got overwhelmed taking care of her mom and mother in law to the point that she just didn’t know who she was. She felt like a robot that just did the same things every day, going through the motions just to get through one more day.
It’s a very sad thing to get to that point. Lilly was passed the stressed level and into the burnout level. She really needed help. Her one sister who lived in a nearby city only had criticism about how Lilly was handling the caregiving of her mother, yet she never lifted a finger to help. Lilly felt like she was at the end of her rope.
After talking to a community service worker, Lilly decided to call a family meeting. Her sister came. Lilly explained how she was only one person and couldn’t do it all. Her health was suffering because of exhaustion. Lilly’s sister admitted she felt like she wasn’t included, and that’s where the criticism was coming from. The two sisters were able to agree on a home care plan for their mother. Their mother had sufficient savings to pay for an in-home care provider 3 days per week. Lilly’s sister would come into town and watch her 1 day per week.
The arrangement gave Lilly 4 days off per week from the caregiving role. She felt like she had a new lease on life and was able to regain her ground again and get back to taking care of herself and enjoying time with her family.
Every family’s circumstances are different. But you may just need to take a step back and try to see the whole picture. Think of unique ways to solve some of the problems. Often the solution or an idea which leads to a solution may come from another person, especially someone who isn’t closely involved in the situation.
Lilly would have never thought of asking her sister for help until the community worker suggested she give it a try. Sometimes you never know until you try. If it doesn’t work out, try something different.
Don’t let feelings of guilt trick you into thinking you’re a failure if you can’t do it all alone. It just isn’t realistic to carry a weight that heavy for an extended period of time. Make sure your pathway is not headed toward crash and burn but rather toward peace and joy.
If you or someone you know needs home care in St. Cloud, MN, contact Prairie River Home Care. We provide quality and affordable home care services for many fragile or senior members in the communities we serve. Call us at (888) 660-5772 for more information.